from Astronaut: The Best.
Cutscene. Comedic, Expository.
Context: The player is the director of the Flaustrian Royal Space Academy. Upon starting a new mission, they are called to a briefing with their bosses, the Five High Priests of Flaustria.
CORREBLANCH Make no mistake, Director. The Flaustrian space program is in crisis. STARNAT Our rivals in Vladagar have once again put us to shame. Do you know what they just announced? PLAYER CHOICE > They sent a snake into orbit? They stole our engineering secrets? They made some blustering claim with nothing to back it up? CORREBLANCH Blessedly, no. Our nation’s children would never sleep again with space snakes to worry about. Earlier tonight, two Vladagar cosmonauts appeared on-air to make a grave proclamation. MORNINGDEW They said they’re better and tougher than our astronauts, and could beat them up! They even challenged us to a boxing match to prove it.. And then they said that we would be too scared to answer. STARNAT Needless to say, we cannot allow this challenge to go unanswered. CORREBLANCH Ignoring this confrontation would mean condoning the Vladagar’s countless heresies. Unacceptable. RULU Just so you know, certain neutral nations rate Flaustrian policy as “namby-pamby.” International relations may be damaged by confirming those assumptions, just so you know. INSIDE-TRACK So you got this, right, space boss? Just have your boys roll in there, knock some snakes down, and floosh, call it a day. STARNAT It is deadly to underestimate the serpents of Vladagar. So says the teachings of Mongoose. PLAYER CHOICE I recommend that we ignore this provocation and continue training as normal. The launch is most important thing. No need to worry. We can easily prepare some astronauts for a boxing match without sacrificing the efficiency of our training. > We need to drop all other training and focus on this fight. It’s the only way to defend Flaustria’s honor. RULU Just so you know, delaying the launch is not an option. Winning this fight will only raise expectations for our space program, just so you know. INSIDE-TRACK Yeah, once you beat up those snakes, the launch hype is gonna bust through the roof so hard it’ll beat you to space! CORREBLANCH We have already accepted the challenge on your astronauts’ behalf. The fight will be held in ten days. STARNAT Two of your astronauts must be at peak FITNESS by then, as it is a traditional tag-team boxing match. INSIDE-TRACK I ain’t the type that’s into coldbloods, but those cosmonauts were some stone chiseled specimens, catch me? We can’t have our guys looking doughy. MORNINGDEW I guess the good news is, this kinda helps your astronaut training anyhow, right? Because they all need to get into shape? STARNAT Remember not to neglect your other space trainings. We must still prepare to launch shortly after the match. CORREBLANCH You have ten days, Director. Train our astronauts wisely.